Last year I made a note to myself to recap each month as it happened through my very own perspective. I was mostly unsuccessful because my life, as young as I was and still am, wasn’t interesting or captivating. I was definitely not having as much fun as my fellow bloggers
(a lot of induced FOMO was experienced), but I suppose at the end of the day that doesn’t matter as long as I’m living the life I want to live. Except, in a way, I wasn’t.
As a self-proclaimed perfectionist, (hopefully one day I’ll get over this) I prioritized my work, my assignments, and everything else work or academically related, above my own health, both mental and physical and my relationships. I had gotten my priorities spectacularly out of order. As much I regret not balancing what was most important to me, without this experience, I wouldn’t have known what it is that I value the most. Hence, why my theme for 2019 is to live and to learn, to not let the working side of myself take over completely, to live with balance and intention.
January has been the most exciting, one of the most life-changing and perhaps one of the most important months from which I learnt a lot about myself and others. From being ill in December and having to travel 3,000 miles away from home, the theme for January was essentially to get my life back together.
Before you think I’m being dramatic about the whole thing, the end of 2018 was really rough, in my older posts, I mentioned how isolated I became, how my life, in its entirety, stopped. I didn’t have a life. Once I recovered, I mentally and physically de-cluttered everything and anything that was a reminder of what I had experienced. I bought a new coat, started using a new bag, some new clothes, you name it, I created a new version of myself.
I was beginning again. Like a caterpillar released from a cocoon, I was ready to become the butterfly.
I started blogging again about topics important to me, and I’ve got a whole lot more coming your way. There was no more boredom, no more exhaustion felt about blogging, I had rediscovered my spark, I was beginning again. I even pushed myself to post for my university’s blog, I received a lot of good feedback to the point where fear, fear of failure, of not being good enough, took a back seat and was eventually removed.
If there’s one thing illness taught me, it’s that not to take life for granted, seize the opportunities that come your way with both hands, grasp them if needed. But don’t you dare give up. I decided not to, that is, give up on myself, I practised self-care, took the time to meet with friends and eat some delicious food. Life is too short not to eat delicious food, another thing I learnt over the past 2 months. I treated myself to skincare because I believe that whatever you feel internally manifests itself onto your physical body.
For the first time in life, I don’t just feel like myself, I feel like I’ve become a version of myself that was unforeseen, but beautiful nonetheless. But, I suppose, that’s just the way life is.
© Afiyah/WhenLifeAwakens, 2018. Unauthorised use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Afiyah/WhenLifeAwakens with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.