Every year we as humans go through battles, whether these are inner battles or outer battles, they’re important nonetheless. These battles come with wisdom attached, the majority of the time and it’s usually what we need to hear the most. The things we should be doing, the ways we should be caring for ourselves, listening to that gut feeling. Instead, we fight, we resist what life has to offer us and then wonder why things are stagnant. That’s not to say weathering the storm isn’t easy but boy does it come with lessons that stick with us for life.
Being kind to myself – something that in the past made me cringe, I wasn’t made for looking after myself, or stopping my life, I had a life to live, I had an education to get and things to do. Did I even have the time? I convinced myself for years that I didn’t, those years are a blur in my mind, I can picture my teen self running around perfecting everything that could possibly be perfected rather than enjoying her time, sadly those memories still are a blur. I rarely focused on what was important (me and the people around me)/ I rarely stopped to think, to reflect, and in a way, live.
Living for myself, not other people – I mentioned this in my 2019 goals post as something that was immensely difficult for me, my life as I was living it was controlled unknowingly my society, family, the media and all the other agencies out there. I soaked up the information that was given to me at face value like a sponge, I was essentially a product of society, a perfect law-abiding citizen that could be moulded into the perfect person. it wasn’t until much later on where I realised that none of these agencies were perfect, society is flawed, as is the media, and the people around me aren’t perfect either. So why was I listening? since then I’ve taken time to look inwards, what do I want from my life? where it is that I want to go?
Cultivating a relationship with myself – just like living for myself was a key lesson, so was physically taking the time out to sit somewhere quiet and have a conversation with myself, it was incredibly refreshing. I got to know more about myself, more of myself than I ever have and to think I’d missed out this my entire life thus far made me a little… sad. I realised though that many of us have missed out on this intimate time for whatever reason, so if you haven’t given this a go, I would highly recommend it. The more I listened to myself over the past year the more I craved that inner knowledge, and the more it’s helped me become the person I want to become and enabled me to create the life I’ve always subconsciously wanted.
Just keep going – these 3 small words have a powerful meaning, a profound meaning if you will, once you come to the realisation that life is hard, it sucks for everyone no matter the circumstances. You may come to a point where you feel like giving up, I know I have many, many times. I could have easily stopped trying when I had my first failure, my second, my tenth or my hundredth. Yet it made all the difference that I didn’t. Life has its own way of turning out fine in the end, just know that if things aren’t fine, then its definitely not the end.
I was afraid to make mistakes, to live my life to the fullest, to appreciate the flowers, the morning sunshine, the depths of the seas, the intensity of twilight, all because I was racing to get from one stage of life to another…
That a little progress is some progress – we as humans all define progress differently depending on our perspectives, our beliefs and our experiences. Being the person that I used to be, a perfectionist whose sole goal was to succeed at every little opportunity that came my way, there was no such thing as little progress, it was either success or failure, the act of accomplishing or not accomplishing at all. I never thought to appreciate the grey area in between, the journey between the different steps we take to achieve our goals. Although little progress may not be visible, you might not see it, or realise it or even feel it, it does exist, and it means you’re getting closer and closer.
Many processes aren’t linear – we’ve all done graphs at school at some point in our lives, the proportional graph where there’s one neat line going in an upwards direction where there was an increase on both axes, is absolutely nothing like the way life is. This might come as a shock to some people, it definitely came as a shock to me, comparing life to a graph would look like the messiest, most upwards/downwards, backwards/forwards type of graph to ever exist. And that’s perfectly fine, life isn’t about living in a way that’s linear, if it was, there would be no such thing as failure, as learning from our mistakes, there would be no growth, no understanding, no acceptance of what’s out of the ordinary. Simply put, it wouldn’t really be life.
These 6 life lessons have taught me a lot over the past year, and I know they’ll have much more to teach me in the upcoming year. Despite the fact that I feel like the same soul inhabiting the same body, nothing for me is ever really the same. I find this both beautiful and tragic, to know I’ll never be in the same position or even the same person as I once was. It’s a bittersweet thought. Have you ever felt like this? What did 2018 teach you?
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