It’s incredibly difficult to try and summarise everything that happened in the past six months, honestly, I think it would be mentally taxing. So much good, so much not-so-good and everything else that falls in the middle occurred, just as it probably did for everyone else. I had a crazy start with exams and this month ended with exams, despite the stresses of being a student I managed to stick to the majority of my goals, especially the ones I used to make monthly.
Self-development was a major theme this year, I took time out to meditate, to practice pilates and yoga and overall learn more about myself. For the most part, this was pretty successful, I made a blog post about the goals I have achieved thus far, so what exactly is the point of this blog post?
No one’s perfect. And sometimes life gets in the way.
As the months go by, I find myself falling off the wagon, so to speak and ending up trapped in old, negative habits that I worked so hard to remove myself from. As much as the year started off on a successful note, currently I’ve left all of my habits and am going through a slump, and its time to lift myself up.
My 2018 Resolutions
Be more intentional with what I consume – this is a goal that I’m proud to say that I stuck to, at the start of the year I wanted to clean the slate and removed myself from everything and everyone that was toxic to my well-being. As far as social media goes, I unfollowed/unsubscribed from those that were making me feel bad about being myself. And at the same time followed those who I deemed were good for my soul, my feed is so much more positive, uplifting and enjoyable.
Take some time to reflect – at the start of the year, reflecting was something I hated doing, it reminded me that I had such a long way to go. It wasn’t until I started looking inward that I realised little steps paved the way for big changes, I’d just failed to remove myself from my narrow mindset. Now whenever I reflect I’m in awe of not just how much time has passed but how I’ve grown, mentally, emotionally and spiritually into the person I always wanted to become. That’s not to say I’ve completely succeeded, as with life, there’s always more to the journey than meets the eye.
Be an active decision-maker – a lot of my life, especially in my pre-teen years I soaked up practically everything that people and society were telling me. The type of career to have, what it means to be respected, what it means to be a woman, how I should express myself without treading on anyone’s toes, every last detail about me, my behaviour and thoughts were manufactured by external forces. It wasn’t until I became an adult that I decided to break out of the constraints and make decisions for me, I felt liberated.
This year I’ve actively made decisions to better my mental health by building a relationship with myself. As silly as it sounds I always ignored my gut feelings and trudged through the darkest of times only to keep falling down the same holes. And it was by falling through these same holes did I begin to change the way I spoke to myself, the way I carried myself through hardships and failures, through successes and accomplishments, and everything in between. I can feel the progress that I’ve made but I know this isn’t the end, there really isn’t an end, I’ll keep growing, keep loving and bettering myself.
My body and mind knew exactly what it wanted. I just wasn’t listening.
All in all, 2018 was a year of growth, of new opportunities and experiences , but it was also a year of pain, a year of breakdowns, of complicated issues that seemed to have no resolutions, all of which I’ll be moving away from. Thank you 2018, next.
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