5AM

 

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It’s Friday 22nd December 2017 an I’m awake, at 5AM. To many and myself included this sounds like torture, and trust me you’re not wrong. It’s painful waking up early in the morning and expecting your body to get working, potentially if you haven’t had the exact amount of sleep that you’d hoped for, or again like myself even though it’s still pretty early you ended oversleeping (yes, my goal wasn’t to be awake at 5AM, rather it was 4.30AM). But what can I say life goes on.  

This incredibly subtle act of oversleeping, of making a somewhat human mistake (I understand to many it may not be subtle at all, but bear with me on this) is a reminder that mistakes, if you truly look deep within them, aren’t mistakes at all. For example, I’ve missed around  5 days of Blogmas, pretty much every single day this week and this mistake I made really put me down, it started to encompass in the form of negative thoughts and negative thought processing that in all honesty I just couldn’t stop. 

And then I took a step back. 

Not being able to post was out of my control, university life with the dreaded exams are finally catching up to me and I’ve become incredibly busy and having too much to handle can really take a mental toll. Just being under that mental toll started having a negative effect on me and I knew if I ever had the chance to post the quality wouldn’t be great at all and I’d end up with huge regrets. 

Despite this ‘mistake’, I realised beating myself up about it wasn’t going to help, I could change this mistake around but keeping myself surrounded by that negativity, that I couldn’t possibly let happen. Instead, I’m on the way to making positive changes, there are small victories that I can celebrate, the key is to actually look out for them, notice them and of course, celebrate them. I, for one, will be celebrating my efforts to be up early and publish content, because out of all the hobbies I have, nothing else brings me that much joy.    


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