This blog post which was meant to have been released on a Monday, because that’s my scheduled day for uploading has now been moved by a day. Despite the fact that I hate not being on top of my game, I really need to learn to stop, breathe and most of all relax. Again the week started and it was hectic, as a result of the stress and the incredibly cold weather, I’ve become ill, luckily for me it’s just a mixture of a cold and the flu, and not anything too serious, But today I’ve decided (probably a little too late) to relax.
A few day ago, at the exact same time and day, I was scheduled to have my second (and last) counselling appointment, unlike my feelings from last time, I was more than happy to go back and talk about the last two weeks. But, not much had happened, so was it worth going? Of course, I wanted to attend, but was there any point, I mean, the days were pretty much all the same and nothing monumental had happened?
I let these thoughts drift into the back of mind and instead started to focus on what I’d say and how I’d summarise the emotions that I had felt and the events, despite their being so little of them, that had occurred. Just like the last time I was in the waiting room, I entered and waited for approximately 10 minutes, just enough time for me to gather my thoughts before the counsellor called me in. Yet unlike the last time, I wasn’t nervously waiting outside the room wanting to run far, far away before the session had even started.
One important thing I realised was that this place, just being in the presence of this room where two weeks prior I had let go of some of my damaging emotions, became my safe place. I was happy, but most of all I was safe. Just this mere realisation, put a smile on my face because I knew that whenever I was being troubled I could go back and I could talk and someone would listen. For once in my life, I had something and someone I could rely on and to me, that meant the world, and it still does.
The session itself which as being expected was a reflection, from my point-of-view of the past two weeks, and also as expected my emotions were at the centre of this. However, something happened that was quite unexpected, I was all of a sudden making comparisons to what I’d spoken about in my session and at other points in life, to now, to who I was at that particular moment in time and who I am now. My emotions were all positive, everything was falling into place and I was once again, at peace with myself, and this was honestly the best feeling in the world. And the counsellor knew, from my beaming smiling face, to my body language and even the way I spoke.
One exercise that I completed within the session that I will never forget was to sit and take a few moments to actually feel the happiness, to actually feel how it feels to be okay. The reason being is that when we, as individuals are happy, we’re busy running around getting things done, we don’t think about or live at all in the present moment. And, as a result, it becomes so much easier to dwell on the negative thoughts because these are the thoughts we give time to, we spend so much of our lives dwelling on the negative that the positive moments pass us by without much notice.
Another thing I’ll never forget was when the counsellor mentioned that it was obvious that I had an immense shift in perspective, I was knowledgeable and I was wise, but most of all, despite my somewhat weak and fragile appearance, I had a lot of strength both in myself and my words, which honestly is the most beautiful thing anyone has ever said to me.
At this point, you’re probably wondering what these milestones are, and potentially why I haven’t mentioned them yet. But here goes, this is a monumental moment for me because this post (once released) will be my 100th blog post!!
Never did I think, especially at the beginning of my blogging journey that I’d ever get this far. I’m incredibly grateful for all my followers and all the lovely comments that I receive, because without them I would’ve given up writing by now. The fact that I’m, able to continue feels like a huge privilege, one which I’m happy to take.