Hello everyone and welcome back to my blog, first off I wanted to say that I’ve been in an unproductive slump causing me to procrastinate posting and many other things I need to do in my life…whoops.
This is going to be a difficult article for me to post because it relates to my personal experiences but that’s exactly what blogs are, personal right?! So here goes I’m going down to the nitty gritty details about why I find failure to be beautiful and how it’s helped me to grow as a person…
Growing up I always saw failure as something I shouldn’t or rather, couldn’t experience. There was a constant thought in the back of my mind telling me that failure would break me, it would hurt and that was something I couldn’t take. But it wasn’t just me that I was worried about, I was worried about my ‘reputation’ what others thought of me, how many family would react and how it would potentially affect my plans for the future. I know all of this is somewhat understandable. But to me it meant the end of the world, literally.
At the age of 16 life went pretty smoothly, I did well in my exams and I was on course to go the sixth form of my dreams and fingers crossed, be successful in the career I so desperately wanted. At this point I felt ‘immune’ to failure, I had already done so well, so there nothing that could possibly go wrong. Well, I was horribly surprised…
A year later, everything went haywire, my grades started slipping and the future became more and more blurred. I had lost my sense of direction and my potential career went down the drain. The end of the year finally approached and I knew I had failed, I hadn’t just failed myself, but I’d failed my friends and family who were eager to see me do well. As supportive as they were of me, I was not so supportive or as forgiving to myself. I spent the next weeks, even months crying. Yes, I cried, a lot. And it hurt so much more. The shame and guilt that I had carried weighed me down like a ton of bricks and it became even more unbearable when I started school again.
So you’re probably asking what was the purpose of me telling/rambling on about my life story. Well mainly to tell you that, we all fail. Yes, you heard me right, WE ALL FAIL, And we should never, ever be afraid or ashamed of doing so.
The society that we live in has adopted a certain culture around failure, that’s why you don’t really hear of it. Failure = unintelligent, unemployment, being in poverty. All the things every citizen of every country tries so desperately not to be. Even more so is the reputation that you gain from being seen as a ‘failure’ we as humans don’t want to be seen as anything but successful. It ruins our pride and our ego, both of which we all like to keep pretty high.
In the end, I decided enough was enough, I wasn’t going to let a bad year keep me down. I knew exactly what I wanted and I was going to get it, no matter how many sacrifices I had to make. Then came the new year, I started working twice as hard at every single piece of work I was given. I spoke to the teachers regularly just to ask how I was doing and how I could improve. I spent countless hours reading and re-reading notes just to make sure I didn’t forget the information out of laziness.
I stepped up my game hugely, and I couldn’t have done it without failing. It was my moment, my major milestone that I was going to overcome. As much as I felt broken, I was going to do everything it took to piece myself back together again. I remember describing it to my teachers as an endless flame that burns within my soul, failure provided me with an endless source of motivation. And I had hope, hope in that I was going to have the future that I dreamed of because I worked hard for it.
Ever since, I’ve let go of my unhealthy, perfectionist attitude, I’ve stopped caring about what other people think of me, I’ve stopped living my life for other people, I’ve stopped doing what everyone else has told me to. Instead, I’ve started living it for myself, I will do what I want to do, whenever and however I want to do it. I’ve grown so much as a person, it’s unbelievable.
Lastly, I’m going to end with a few tips and tricks to help you overcome failure. Firstly, believe in yourself and your ability to do countless, wonderful things in this life. Secondly, know that failure is inevitable and will happen to you and to every single person on this earth. But know that you’ll come back twice as strong because of it. Thirdly, try your best in everything that you do because even if you do experience failure, you can rest assured that you did try your best. And finally, failure does not determine you as a person and neither is it permanent because ‘failure is a bruise, not a tattoo’ John Sinclair
In my eyes, failure is the most beautiful thing that could happen to a person, not only does it help you grow, but it also gives you a huge reality check, a meaningful one too.